


all too well

by quiteyet



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 07:01:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11352273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiteyet/pseuds/quiteyet
Summary: Even always opted towards keeping it all locked inside, when Isak just never knew of the right things to say. They balanced each other out that way.inspired by all too well by taylor swift~





	all too well

Isak sat in their tiny kitchen, staring into the fridge, not entirely sure what he's looking for. He couldn't help but scoff to himself, he's not entirely sure why he was there to begin with. Maybe he needed to move his legs and let his mind settle down.

Lately there was this tiny bit of anger inside of Isak. Add it to the list of things he wasn't certain of, right above whether or not he wanted to take the _close to it's expiration date_ yogurt or the half empty bottle of water sitting in their fridge.

> _So casually cruel in the name of being honest,_  
>  _I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here._

Carelessly he leaves it open and moves to sit onto the ground, letting the light from the open fridge illuminate the darkness around him. It's like a siren in his mind, it bothers him knowing that it shouldn't bother him. Homophobic people shouldn't bother him, ignorant comments shouldn't bother him. But they bother him. They **get** to him, not all the time -- but most of the time.

> _I walked through the door with you, the air was cold,_

There's a shuffling in the distance and Isak averts his gaze upwards, watching Even move into view in the small doorway. His boyfriend's head cants to the side just slightly, allowing his brows to furrow at the sight before him. "Isak.." the blond trails off, padding over to Isak before sitting down onto the tile floor beside him. "What's wrong?" Even's voice is so soothing to Isak, for a moment it almost makes everything else completely disappear. If it weren't for his left arm feeling colder than ever from the open fridge, he would have melted into a mush of _all things Even_ right then and there.

Isak simply shrugs, letting out a shaky breath of air through his mouth. "It makes me fucking mad. It makes me wanna rip my head off while they're just completely fine with being -- ignorant and disgusting to people. To people, Even. We're **people**. How do they just do that? I don't understand. We're people."

The thing about Isak and Even was that when something bothered them, they didn't really need a fleshed out explanation. The other always just knew. There was a profound comfort in knowing that and it made opening up so much easier. Isak was never very good at words and Even was just the same but also _different_ in that sense. Even always opted towards keeping it all locked inside, when Isak just never knew of the right things to say. They balanced each other out that way.

> _Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze._

"Isak," Even starts, taking one of Isak's hands into his own, beginning to play with his fingers. "If there's anything I've learned it's that those people -- people like that, people who just blatantly hate others -- they're far from being fine. They're scared and sad in the worst, most pathetic way possible."

Even stops for a moment, adjusting himself so he's sitting in front of Isak, taking both of his hands now. "You have every right to be pissed off and upset about it because it sucks. We **_are_** people and it sucks. It's always going to suck. But, Isak, look at you -- you've come so far and you did that all on your own." Isak smiles a bit at that, it was ridiculous how Even always knew what to say. It was like he was inside of Isak's brain. "I'm damn proud of you. So many people are, Isak. You're loved more than you'll ever know. So fuck ignorant assholes who have nothing better to do than project their fear in disgusting ways. You're you, you're a person and you're a pretty strong one at that."

For a moment Isak's eyes begin to sting and he curses the moment he feels himself begin to cry. He wasn't much of a crier, or at least he's come to terms with that as of recently. Lately he's been someone that wants to lash out instead of cry it out. It was that tiny bit of anger that triggers it, he knows that.

Before Isak's mind begins to aimlessly wander once again, he reaches out and wraps his cold arms around Even's shoulders, stuffing his nose into his neck. Even's reaction is instant, snaking his arms around Isak's waist. "You're the best thing in my life." Isak mumbles into the collar of Even's shirt, his voice quieter than he intended it to be, but loud enough for Even to hear.

Even doesn't reply at first, finding that he's a bit in shock at what's been said. The best thing. He repeats it in his head over and over until it begins to sound funny. _The best thing, the best thing, the best thing, the best thing._ Out of **all** things? The question is at the tip of his tongue, begging to be asked, but he refrains. What Isak said was a little too personal to be met with a question that could easily come off as joking or slightly sarcastic, even if Even really did mean it.

It's just that Even has always felt like a burden. He's always felt like his presence should have been kept to the back of the cabinet and his feelings and needs would always be second best to something or someone else. He always believed that so many things way too good for him, or that he just wasn't deserving of said things. But to Isak, he's the best thing out of all things in his life filled with _so much_.

Now Even thinks he might cry too, but somehow he holds it in.

Finally Even stands, brushing off his pajama pants as he does so. Isak rubs at his nose and paws at his eyes, ridding of any wetness left there from his sudden crying. He doesn't notice Even holding out his hands to him until he looks up again. He takes them without hesitation, allowing Even to hoist him up. Isak expects Even to lead them back to bed, but they stay there for a moment, foreheads pressed together while holding each other close.

The tips of their noses brush together lightly, both of their cheeks turning bright red. Even begins to sway and Isak can't help but knit his eyebrows together at the action, "What are you doing?" Isak's voice is paired with a breathy laugh, his smile subtle but beaming. Even made feeling better so damn easy, it almost made Isak mad sometimes. Mainly because he enjoyed being grumpy from time to time.

> _'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night,_  
>  _We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light._

Their hands remain laced together as Even stretches their arms outwards, spinning both of them around as they both begin to sway around the kitchen. The chill from the still open fridge begins to make both of their bodies cold now, but neither of them seemed to mind, especially since the light it gives dictates their movements around their small kitchen area. Even lifts his arm to twirl Isak, earning the quietest little giggle to escape him. Even has to muster every bit of strength he can to not kiss him all over after he hears it.

They dance and sway until the world vanishes and there are no ignorant assholes to deal with, no things to bother them, and no cups of yogurt that needed to be thrown out soon. They dance until it's just them, illuminated by refrigerator light and glowing with _perfect happy love_ for each other.

Even leans downwards to dip Isak and Isak leans his head back, blond curls dangling from his head like Christmas tree ornaments. The fondest laugh sounds from Even and Isak's own burst of laughter follows shortly after. His face grows warmer and more red as Even lifts him back up in one swift movement, earning a huff of air to push through Isak as their bodies collide together again, noses bumping slightly.

Quiet laughter paired with shaky breathing brews between them now and they can't even help it. Nothing was funny, they were both just so happy. It was easy to forget sometimes, especially when things get in the way. But it was something that always came back to them, the realization of how good they are with each other, how good they are **for** each other, and how damn happy they make each other. They complete one another.

Isak's hand moves sluggishly into Even's hair, their laughter subsiding as they sway a little more, bodies flush and their skin reddening more and more with each passing second. "You're a shit dancer." Isak chimes in and the laughter begins again, mainly from Even. " _Hey_ , I'm working on it." he replies, squeezing Isak a bit tighter to him.

> _'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so,_

One of Even's hands begins to trail up Isak's arms, feeling goosebumps rise onto his skin. He thinks it's because of his touch but it's then he remembers the fridge is _still fucking open_. With one swift movement he kicks it closed with the heel of his foot, allowing darkness to swallow them whole. For some reason, it felt like home somehow. It being darkness and Isak and the world around them that's vanishing along with it all.

"I love you." Isak's voice breaks the sudden silence, the darkness around them still present but Isak never seemed brighter in Even's eyes. Isak maps every feature that he can make out in the midst of darkness now, pressing his nose into Even's cheek before kissing that same area. Even leans into it blissfully, his eyes fluttering closed. "And I love you, in case you didn't know."

> _It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well._

It was one of those moments Isak knew he'd come back to. When his chest felt heavy and that urge to scream and thrash would rise again. It was one of those moments that make a home in his mind and ring like an alarm when things became cloudy. It was one of those moments he'll **remember** but keep to himself, because it remains personal that way when it's tucked away in his mind. Something for Isak and Even and just them only. He loves it this way, they both do. The two of them swaying in darkness against a vanishing world.


End file.
